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Ayah
Word by Word
وَإِمَّا
And if
تُعۡرِضَنَّ
you turn away
عَنۡهُمُ
from them
ٱبۡتِغَآءَ
seeking
رَحۡمَةٖ
mercy
مِّن
from
رَّبِّكَ
your Lord
تَرۡجُوهَا
which you expect
فَقُل
then say
لَّهُمۡ
to them
قَوۡلٗا
a word
مَّيۡسُورٗا
gentle
وَإِمَّا
And if
تُعۡرِضَنَّ
you turn away
عَنۡهُمُ
from them
ٱبۡتِغَآءَ
seeking
رَحۡمَةٖ
mercy
مِّن
from
رَّبِّكَ
your Lord
تَرۡجُوهَا
which you expect
فَقُل
then say
لَّهُمۡ
to them
قَوۡلٗا
a word
مَّيۡسُورٗا
gentle
Translation
And even if thou hast to turn away from them in pursuit of the Mercy from thy Lord which thou dost expect, yet speak to them a word of easy kindness.
Tafsir
But if you [have to] overlook them, that is, the kinsmen and the others mentioned, and do not give to them, seeking mercy from your Lord, [a mercy] which you expect [in the future], that is, [you do not give to them] because of a request for provision which you are waiting to come to you [from your Lord], before you give to them, then speak to them gentle words, pleasant and reasonable [words], promising them that you will give to them when the provision [from God] arrives.
"
The Command to Worship Allah Alone and to be Dutiful to One's Parents
Allah says,
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعۡبُدُواۡ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ
And your Lord has Qada (decreed) that you worship none but Him.
Allah commands us to worship Him alone, with no partner or associate.
The word Qada (normally having the meaning of decree) here means ""commanded"".
Mujahid said that;
وَقَضَى
(And He has Qada) means enjoined.
This is also how Ubayy bin Ka`b, Ibn Mas`ud and Ad-Dahhak bin Muzahim recited the Ayah as:
وَوَصَّي رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعۡبُدُواۡ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ
""And your Lord has Wassa (enjoined) that you worship none but Him.""
The idea of worshipping Allah is connected to the idea of honoring one's parents.
Allah says:
وَبِالۡوَالِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَانًا
And that you be dutiful to your parents.
Here He commands good treatment of parents, as He says elsewhere:
أَنِ اشۡكُرۡ لِى وَلِوَلِدَيۡكَ إِلَىَّ الۡمَصِيرُ
give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination. (31:14)
إِمَّا يَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الۡكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوۡ كِلَهُمَا فَلَ تَقُل لَّهُمَأ أُفٍّ
If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect,
means, do not let them hear anything offensive from you, not even say ""Uff!"" which is the mildest word of disrespect,
وَلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا
and do not reprimand them,
means, do not do anything horrible to them.
Ata' bin Rabah said that it meant,
""Do not raise your hand against them.""
When Allah forbids speaking and behaving in an obnoxious manner, He commands speaking and behaving in a good manner, so He says:
وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلاً كَرِيمًا
but address them in terms of honor.
meaning gently, kindly, politely, and with respect and appreciation
وَاخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحۡمَةِ
And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy,
means, be humble towards them in your actions.
وَقُل رَّبِّ ارۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
and say:""My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.""
means, say this when they grow old and when they die.
Ibn Abbas said:""But then Allah revealed:
مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِىِّ وَالَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواۡ أَن يَسۡتَغۡفِرُواۡ لِلۡمُشۡرِكِينَ
It is not (proper) for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allah's forgiveness for the idolators. .."" (9:13)
There are many Hadiths which speak about honoring one's parents, such as the Hadith narrated through a number of chains of narration from Anas and others, which states that the Prophet climbed up on the Minbar, and then said,
Amin, Amin, Amin.
It was said, ""O Messenger of Allah, why did you say Amin.""
He said:
أَتَانِي جِبۡرِيلُ فَقَالَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ رَغِمَ أَنۡفُ رَجُلٍ ذُكِرۡتَ عِنۡدَهُ فَلَمۡمُيصَلِّ عَلَيۡكَ قُلۡ امِينَ فَقُلۡتُ امِينَ ثُمَّ قَالَ رَغِمَ أَنۡفُ رَجُلٍ دَخَلَ عَلَيۡهِ شَهۡرُ رَمَضَانَ ثُمَّ خَرَجَ فَلَمۡ يُغۡفَرۡ لَهُ قُلۡ امِينَ فَقُلۡتُ امِينَ ثُمَّ قَالَ رَغِمَ أَنۡفُ رَجُلٍ أَدۡرَكَ وَالِدَيۡهِ أَوۡ أَحَدَهُمَا فَلَمۡ يُدۡخِلَهُ الۡجَنَّةَ قُلۡ امِينَ فَقُلۡتُ امِين
Jibril came to me and said,
""O Muhammad, he is doomed who hears you mentioned and does not say Salla upon you."" He said, ""Say Amin,"" so I said Amin.
Then he said,
""He is doomed who sees the month of Ramadan come and go, and he has not been forgiven."" He said, ""Say Amin,"" so I said Amin.
Then he said,
""He is doomed who grows up and both his parents or one of them are still alive, and they do not cause him to enter Paradise."" He said, ""Say Amin,"" so I said Amin.
Another Hadith
Imam Ahmad reported from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet said:
رَغِمَ أَنۡفُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنۡفُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنۡفُ رَجُلٍ أَدۡرَكَ أَحَدَ أَبَوَيۡهِ أَوۡ كِلَيۡهِمَا عِنۡدَ الۡكِبَرِ وَلَمۡ يَدۡخُلِ الۡجَنَّة
He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed, the man whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age while he is alive and he does not enter Paradise.
This version is Sahih although no one recorded it other than Muslim.
Another Hadith
Imam Ahmad recorded Mu`awiyah bin Jahimah As-Salami saying that Jahimah came to the Prophet and said:
""O Messenger of Allah, I want to go out to fight and I have come to seek your advice.""
He said,
فَهَلۡ لَكَ مِنۡ أُم
Do you have a mother?
He said, ""Yes.""
The Prophet said,
فَالۡزَمۡهَا فَإِنَّ الۡجَنَّةَ عِنۡدَ رِجۡلَيۡهَا
Then stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.
Similar incidents were also recorded by others. This was recorded by An-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah.
Another Hadith
Imam Ahmad recorded that Al-Miqdam bin Ma`dikarib said that the Prophet said:
إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمۡ بِأبَايِكُمۡ
إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمۡ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمۡ
إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمۡ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمۡ
إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمۡ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمۡ
إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمۡ بِالاَۡقۡرَبِ فَالاَۡقۡرَب
Allah enjoins you concerning your fathers,
Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers,
Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers,
Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers,
Allah enjoins you concerning your close relatives then the next in closeness.
This was recorded by Ibn Majah from the Hadith of Abdullah bin Ayyash.
Another Hadith
Ahmad recorded that a man from Banu Yarbu said:
""I came to the Prophet while he was talking to the people, and I heard him saying,
يَدُ الۡمُعۡطِي الۡعُلۡيَا
أُمَّكَ وَأَبَاكَ
وَأُخۡتَكَ وَأَخَاكَ
ثُمَّ أَدۡنَاكَ أَدۡنَاك
The hand of the one who gives is superior.
(Give to) your mother and your father,
your sister and your brother,
then the closest and next closest.""
Omissions committed against Parents are pardoned with Good Relations and Repentance
Sa`id bin Jubayr said:
""This refers to a man who said something that he did not think would be offensive to his parents.""
According to another report:
""He did not mean anything bad by that.""
So Allah said:
رَّبُّكُمۡ أَعۡلَمُ بِمَا فِي نُفُوسِكُمۡ إِن تَكُونُواۡ صَالِحِينَ
Your Lord knows best what is in your souls. If you are righteous,
فَإِنَّهُ كَانَ لِلَوَّابِينَ غَفُورًا
He is Ever Most Forgiving to those who turn to Him in repentance.
Qatadah said:
""To the obedient who pray.""
Shu`bah narrated from Yahya bin Sa`id from Sa`id bin Al-Musayyib;
""This refers to those who commit sin then repent, and commit sin then repent.""
Ata' bin Yasar, Sa`id bin Jubayr and Mujahid said:
""They are the ones who return to goodness.""
Mujahid narrated from Ubayd bin Umayr, concerning this Ayah:
""This is the one who, when he remembers his sin when he is alone, he seeks the forgiveness of Allah.""
Mujahid agreed with him on that.
Ibn Jarir said:
""The best view on this matter is of those who said that it refers to the one who repents after committing sin, who comes back from disobedience to obedience and who leaves that which Allah hates for that which He loves and is pleased with.""
What he said is correct, for Allah says,
إِنَّ إِلَيۡنَأ إِيَابَهُمۡ
Verily, to Us will be their return. (88:25)
And according to a Sahih Hadith, the Messenger of Allah would say when he returned from a journey,
ايِبُونَ تَايِبُونَ عَابِدُونَ لِرَبِّنَا حَامِدُون
We have returned repenting, worshipping and praising our Lord.
The Command to maintain the Ties of Kinship and the Prohibition of Extravagance
Allah says
وَاتِ ذَا الۡقُرۡبَى حَقَّهُ وَالۡمِسۡكِينَ وَابۡنَ السَّبِيلِ
And give to the kinsman his due, and to the Miskin (poor), and to the wayfarer.
When Allah mentions honoring one's parents, He follows this with the command to treat one's relatives well and to maintain the ties of kinship.
According to the Hadith:
أُمَّكَ وَأَبَاكَ ثُمَّ أَدۡنَاكَ أَدۡنَاك
ثُمَّ الاَۡقۡرَبَ فَالاَۡقۡرَب
Your mother and your father, then your closest relatives and the next closest.
According to another Hadith:
مَنۡ أَحَبَّ أَنۡ يُبۡسَطَ لَهُ فِي رِزۡقِهِ وَيُنۡسَأَ لَهُ فِي أَجَلِهِ فَلۡيَصِلۡ رَحِمَه
Whoever would like to see his provision expanded and his life extended, let him maintain his ties of kinship.
وَلَا تُبَذِّرۡ تَبۡذِيرًا
But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift.
When Allah commands spending, He forbids extravagance. Spending should be moderate, as stated in another Ayah:
وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَنفَقُواۡ لَمۡ يُسۡرِفُواۡ وَلَمۡ يَقۡتُرُواۡ
And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor stingy. (25:67)
Then He says, to discourage extravagance
إِنَّ الۡمُبَذِّرِينَ كَانُواۡ إِخۡوَانَ الشَّيَاطِينِ
Verily, the spendthrifts are brothers of the Shayatin,
They have this trait in common.
Ibn Mas`ud said:
""This refers spending extravagantly when it is not appropriate.""
Ibn Abbas said likewise.
Mujahid said:
""If a man spends all his wealth on appropriate things, then he is not a spendthrift, but if he spends a little inappropriately, then he is a spendthrift.""
Qatadah said:
""Extravagance means spending money on sin in disobeying Allah, and on wrongful and corrupt things.""
Imam Ahmad recorded that Anas bin Malik said:
""A man came from Banu Tamim to the Messenger of Allah and said:`O Messenger of Allah, I have a lot of wealth, I have a family, children, and the refinements of city life, so tell me how I should spend and what I should do.'
The Messenger of Allah said:
تُخۡرِجُ الزَّكَاةَ مِنۡ مَالِكَ إِنۡ كَانَ فَإِنَّهَا طُهۡرَةٌ تُطَهِّرُكَ
وَتَصِلُ أَقۡرِبَاءَكَ
وَتَعۡرِفُ حَقَّ السَّايِلِ وَالۡجَارِ وَالۡمِسۡكِين
Pay the Zakah on your wealth if any is due, for it is purification that will make you pure,
maintain your ties of kinship,
pay attention to the rights of beggars, neighbors and the poor.
He said:`O Messenger of Allah, make it less for me.'
He (recited):
وَاتِ ذَا الۡقُرۡبَى حَقَّهُ وَالۡمِسۡكِينَ وَابۡنَ السَّبِيلِ وَلَا تُبَذِّرۡ تَبۡذِيرًا
And give to the kinsman his due, and to the Miskin (poor) and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully in the manner of a spendthrift.
The man said, `That is enough for me, O Messenger of Allah. If I pay Zakah to your messenger, will I be absolved of that duty before Allah and His Messenger!'
The Messenger of Allah said:
نَعَمۡ إِذَا أَدَّيۡتَهَا إِلَى رَسُولِي فَقَدۡ بَرِيۡتَ مِنۡهَا وَلَكَ أَجۡرُهَا وَإِثۡمُهَا عَلَى مَنۡ بَدَّلَهَا
Yes, if you give it to my messenger, you will have fulfilled it, and you will have the reward for it, and the sin is on the one who changes it.""
إِنَّ الۡمُبَذِّرِينَ كَانُواۡ إِخۡوَانَ الشَّيَاطِينِ
Verily, the spendthrifts are brothers of the Shayatin,
meaning, they are their brothers in extravagance, foolishness, failing to obey Allah and committing sin.
Allah said:
وَكَانَ الشَّيۡطَانُ لِرَبِّهِ كَفُورًا
and the Shaytan is ever ungrateful to his Lord.
meaning, he is an ingrate, because he denied the blessings of Allah and did not obey Him, turning instead to disobedience and rebellion
وَإِمَّا تُعۡرِضَنَّ عَنۡهُمُ ابۡتِغَاء رَحۡمَةٍ مِّن رَّبِّكَ
And if you turn away from them and you are awaiting a mercy from your Lord,
`If your relatives and those to whom We have commanded you to give, ask you for something, and you do not have anything, and you turn away from them because you have nothing to give,
تَرۡجُوهَا
for which you hope,
i.e. a mercy from your Lord,
فَقُل لَّهُمۡ قَوۡلاً مَّيۡسُورًا
then, speak unto them a soft, kind word.
meaning, with a promise.
This was the opinion of Mujahid, Ikrimah, Sa`id bin Jubayr, Al-Hasan, Qatadah and others."
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